


Hearts Beat (Louder Than Bombs)

by thelikesofus



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - War, Amputation, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Army, Blindness, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Head Injury, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I WILL MAKE SURE THIS HAS A HAPPY ENDING IF IT THE LAST THING I DO, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'll add to the tags as we go, M/M, Mentioned Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Mentioned Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Nurse Donghyuck, Nurse Jungwoo, Sad, Seizures, Serious Injuries, Sharing a Bed, Soldier Lucas, Soldier Mark, Surgery, Tags will be updated, Temporary Blindness, This is gonna be kinda sad guys, War, War AU, im sorry, itaewon class ost induced angst, its set in a war so, some trigger warnings may apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelikesofus/pseuds/thelikesofus
Summary: Donghyuck looks to the man on the bed in front of him. His head has been hastily wrapped in a cloth which is already soaking through with crimson.ORDonghyuck works as a nurse on a military ward, Mark is a soldier brought in with a head injury.(A Markhyuck War Time AU)
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

There is a rush of commotion outside, disrupting what had been a thankfully quiet morning. It was very rare that Donghyuck had what he could call a quiet morning on the ward. Usually, they were bustling around from the crack of dawn until well into the evening.

"What's happened?" Donghyuck calls to Dongyoung as the older man rushes past him, heading for the loading bay. 

"Crossfire on the south cape, four injured," Dongyoung calls back. "Clear the beds!"

Donghyuck meets Jungwoo at the back of the tent and together they quickly strip the sheets of four empty beds before tucking fresh sheets over each mattress.

"We've got two critical here, people!" Taeil is already calling out instructions as he flips hurriedly through the sheets of paper on his clipboard.

Dongyoung and Yuta, along with two other nurses are assisting the field medics, Xiaojun and Ten, in transferring four bodies onto the beds Donghyuck and Jungwoo prepared.

"One possible amputee, bed one." Taeil lists off the case particulars as Donghyuck and the others make quick work of hooking up IV lines and taking vitals. "Lacerations to the back and a gunshot wound to the left hip, bed two." "Gunshot wound to the lower abdomen and right shoulder, bed three. And gunshot wound to the upper right leg along with shrapnel damage to the face, Bed Four."

Donghyuck looks at the man on the bed in front of him. His head has been hastily wrapped in a cloth that is already soaking through with blood in some places. Crimson, a stark contrast to the man's pale skin, sickly pale.

There is a tourniquet tied in the same haphazard fashion around the man's upper thigh but it seems to have done what it was intended to do for now. 

Donghyuck has already made quick work of cutting a hole in the soldiers’ pants to expose the bullet's entry point when Jaemin comes rushing up behind him.

"Anything you need Doc?" He chirps.

"Fashionably late as always, Nana? Pass me the gauze and the forceps." Donghyuck cannot help rolling his eyes at Jaemin's peppy attitude, ever-present no matter the situation.

Extracting the bullet becomes more difficult than it should have been. The man before him seems to be struggling to regain consciousness as he rocks slightly on the bed and groans as Donghyuck applies pressure to the wound. 

"Sir, I'm going to need you to remain still for me please." Donghyuck beings trying to talk him through it. "you are safe here but I need you to hold still, this could sting a little."

Just as he says this he finally manages to grab purchase of the bullet, extracting it with one quick tug. Just as fast, Donghyuck presses the gauze on to the now open wound and continues to apply pressure as he extends a hand towards Jaemin and the boy passes him a clean roll of bandage.

Jaemin helps to hold the man's leg steady as Donghyuck wrapped the bandage around the circumference of the man's thigh, careful not to pull too tight but enough to retain pressure on the wound. The bandage will need to be changed again soon enough but for now, it should be enough to stem the bleeding while Donghyuck tends to the man's face.

This was the part he was most dreading. He rests a hand on the man's shoulder and lowers his voice, trying to keep his tone as even and steady as he can. The man is still barely conscious but he groans at the contact and his head lulls from side to side.

"Sir, I'm going to unwrap the bandages around your head," Donghyuck explains, "I need to you stay still for me and try to keep your eyes closed if you can."

Donghyuck gets nothing more than a pained groan from the man in response but still proceeds to locate the loose end of the bandage where the field medics had tucked it under itself. The first few layers unwind easily enough but as the bandage gets closer to the man's skin it sticks and pulls in places. Some of the blood from the wounds underneath having already dried, caking the material to his skin.

"Warghh?!" A strangled noise comes out if the man's mouth as the bandage catches across his cheek. "Where?"

"Sir, it's okay. You're at the hospital." Donghyuck tries to explain.

"Luc-." The man chokes on his words and groans again.

"Dongyoung! I'm gonna need a sedative over here." Donghyuck calls to the older man across the room.

"Mmm-! Where?" The solider's distress is quickly beginning to worry Donghyuck, he needs that sedative ASAP.

"Jaemin, warm water, please! And cloths." Donghyuck directs the boy beside him. Jaemin nods quickly before rushing off.

Dongyoung appears beside Donghyuck, needle in hand as he checks the solider over before administrating the anesthesia. Donghyuck grips the injured man's hand and squeezes his shoulder tightly.

"You're alright," he reassures him. "you're going to be just fine." With one last gurgle, the man's head lulls to the side and he falls still, the rise and fall of his chest the only indication that the man is still breathing.

Jaemin returns with a large bowl of warm water and a pile of neatly folded cloths. Donghyuck thanks him as he takes one of the cloths, dips it into the bowl of warm water, rings it out slightly before using it to dab across the soldier's face. Slowly but surely the dried blood begins to soften and Donghyuck is able to carefully peel the bandages away.

What he finds underneath causes his breath to catch in the back of his throat. The man's face is covered in cuts and grazes, some deeper than others. His eyes are caked shut, dried blood fusing his eyelashes together.

Donghyuck sighed softy. Sometimes this whole situation was just too painfully real. He rests the cloth against the man's cheek, cleaning away the blood and dirt as gently as possible even though he was aware that the man would not feel anything with the anesthetic anyway.

Once he had cleaned the man's face as best he could, Dongyoung came to take over. Checking the man over for anything that might have been missed and proceeding to deal with his eyes.

Donghyuck met Jungwoo at the back of the tent by the sink. The older boy had downcast eyes and was standing absently as the water washed the blood and grime from his hands.

"You okay?" Donghyuck asked softly, knocking his elbow against Jungwoo's side to alert him to his presence. Sometimes Donghyuck wondered why Jungwoo had chosen to enlist as an army nurse. The older boy seemed so soft. Donghyuck knew that he was tougher than he looked but he always seemed to take every case to heart. Donghyuck did too but he was better at compartmentalizing these emotions whereas Jungwoo wore them all plainly across his face.

"Yes, no." Jungwoo scrubs harder at the backs of his knuckles. Donghyuck steps on Jungwoo's toes and he drops the bar of soap into the sink with a sigh. "If they can't remove all the shrapnel, they might have to amputate the leg."

Donghyuck takes Jungwoo's place in front of the sink, he sticks his own hands under the still running water and picks up the soap, watching as the blood on his own hands runs off down the drain.

"Sometimes this job really is just horrible," Jungwoo admits as Donghyuck passes him the hand towel to dry his hands. "I can't imagine how much that would suck. After everything that must have happened to him out there and then he might have to wake up to find he's missing a leg!"

"I suppose you'll just have to nurse him back to health. Mend his broken heart." Donghyuck teases.

"Very funny." Jungwoo rolls his eyes. 

"When?" Donghyuck asks as he takes the towel back, drying his own hands before hanging it back on the nail by the sink.

"Later this afternoon," Jungwoo says. "They're preparing him for surgery now. Taeil said he'd do whatever he can to avoid amputation."

"Your shift is over Hyung." Donghyuck pushes Jungwoo towards the back door. "Go take a nap, I'm sure your solider would appreciate seeing your pretty face when he wakes up."

Jungwoo rolls his eyes again but shakes his head softly as he thanks Donghyuck. He unties the pinafore from around his waist and leaves it hanging on one of the hooks by the door.

Donghyuck reties his own apron tighter as he heads back into the main ward. Today is looking like it could be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again all. I hope you are all staying safe in this very strange world we are living in.  
> I am currently stuck in self-isolation as our whole country has gone into lockdown. What a weird world.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully this can serve as a distraction for you. I hope to update semi-regularly, it will give me a break from schoolwork. 
> 
> I would greatly appreciate any feedback as this is my first multi-chapter fic.
> 
> Love you all, wash your hands, stay inside.  
> Meegs xx


	2. Chapter 2

Donghyuck is running late. He woke up in a panic only to find the sun already streaming in through the flaps in his tent. Renjun's cot next to his was already empty, the blankets neatly folded at the end of the bed. 

Donghyuck scrambles out of bed, vowing to give Renjun an earful later for not waking him. In his haste to put on his uniform, he is still buttoning his shirt as he stumbles across the courtyard and shoulders his way in the front flaps of the medical tent. 

The other medical staffs are already in full swing, checking up on patients and prepping for the inevitable new arrivals. Donghyuck hated how they were always preparing for the worst, but supposed that just came with the territory.

"Good morning, Doc." Jaemin catches him as he rushes between the beds. "Look who's fashionably late now." 

"Yeah, yeah." Donghyuck rolled his eyes as Jaemin dragged him to the back of the tent and threw an apron in his direction. "Let your boyfriend know he's dead meat when I find him."

"Wait, Renjun didn't wake you?" Jaemin sounded surprised.

"No, he was already gone when I woke up." Donghyuck stopped to study Jaemin's face. 

"That's odd, doesn't he usually wake you if you sleep in." 

"Yes, but it seems he was not feeling so helpful this morning." Donghyuck lets out a huff under his breath as he lets his fingers behind his back tie the knot in the apron ties with practiced ease. Then he pauses. "Come to think of it, he's been acting strange the last couple of weeks. I don't even remember Renjun being in the tent when I got off my shift last night, I suppose I assumed he was with you."

"No, I haven't seen him since dinner last night." The younger boy's eyebrows are pinched in the middle and he is worrying at his bottom lip. 

"Jaemin, how long has it been since either of you heard from Jeno?"  Donghyuck did not like bringing it up, the third puzzle piece to his friends' very secretive arrangement. He hated the sorrowful look that always crossed their face.

"We got a letter just over two months ago, but nothing since." Jaemin scuffed the toe of his shoe against the floor. "I'll find Renjun during my lunch."

Donghyuck did not get the chance to say anything else as Dongyoung caught his gaze and beckoned Donghyuck into the other room.

* * *

After getting an earful himself over his tardiness, Dongyoung gave Donghyuck the rundown on what he had missed at that morning's meeting and filled him in on the details Johnny had given them about their four newest arrivals from the day before.  Now that they had all been identified the medical staffs were able to put names to the unfortunate faces of the men in their hospital beds.

Of the four that had been brought in together the day before, only three had made it through the night. The fourth had been a man by the name of Zhang Yixing, who had been shot twice in the abdomen and shoulder. The medical staff had done all they could but there had been unforeseen complications and he had succumbed to his wounds sometime in the early hours of the morning.

The remaining three patients were, according to Dongyoung, all painfully young, around Donghyuck's age. Yuta's patient, Huang Guanheng, though his papers said he went by Hendery, had suffered a gunshot wound to the hip. Upon further inspection had not been as deep as they originally thought, the bigger problem was the shrapnel that had made a mess of the expanse of the man's back. Grazing and deeper cuts crisscrossed his shoulder blades and lower back making it difficult for the man to lay any other way but on his side or stomach. Aside from this he was alert and taking well to what little pain medication they could give him. 

Jungwoo's patient, Wong Yukhei had pulled through his emergency surgery, and thanks to a lot of whining and promises of extra care on Jungwoo's part, Head Doctor Taeil had been able to remove as much of the shrapnel from the man's leg without the need to amputate. The man had woken up in a panic sometime in the earlier hours of this morning and it had taken both Jungwoo and Yuta to calm him down. Once the man, who now claimed to go by the name of Lucas, was stable he had been assured that he was safe, back at base, and looking to make a swift recovery if all went well. Jungwoo had yet to leave the man's side for longer than an hour.

It was Donghyuck's patient that was causing the most concern. Lee Minhyung or Mark as his official records stated, had suffered a gunshot wound to his upper right thigh, the wound was deep and although he had been stitched up cleanly, the wound would need to be kept in close check to avoid infection. Of larger concern though was the state of Mark's face. The spray of shrapnel had left the right side of his face and neck littered with scratches and cuts. Most disturbing however was how close the damage had come to his eyes. 

_ Amaurosis fugax _ , Dongyoung called it, otherwise known as temporary blindness. The solider's head would need to remain in wraps for the next six weeks. They would need to be changed regularly but other than that he was to limit any exposure to light. The idea was that this would allow the eyes time to heal on their own. Though they would not truly know if his vision could be restored until the wraps are removed after the six weeks. 

Donghyuck glanced out through the opening and into the main tent. From Dongyoung's office, he could see Mark laying on his stretcher bed, his head wrapped neatly and his arms tucked under the blankets by his sides. Lucas was now occupying the bed next to him after sweet-talking the nurses (though Donghyuck was sure it was all Jungwoo's doing) into letting him switch beds with Hendery, claiming he needed to be there when Mark woke up, which he had not done yet. 

"A mix of shock and the anesthetic. His body will be exhausted and the more rest he gets the better," Dongyoung assures him. "I do pity him when he does wake up though. I cannot imagine anything more terrifying than waking up to nothing." 

With a quick squeeze on his shoulder and another reminder to be on time for his shifts from now on, Dongyoung dismisses Donghyuck, allowing him to return to his job. 

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Jungwoo teases as Donghyuck approaches him. He takes his place beside Mark's bed and begins checking his vitals and reviewing the notes left by the night staff. 

"Please don't," Donghyuck whines. "I've already gotten it from Dongyoung and Jaemin." Jungwoo only giggles as he putters around Lucas's bed, following the same procedures as Donghyuck. "How's your soldier doing?"

"Lucas? He seems to be alright for now." Jungwoo glances up from his clipboard to look at the man sleeping soundly in the bed in front of him. "He was pretty shaken up when he woke up earlier."

"So I heard." Donghyuck agreed, "He seems very content now though. It must be your impeccable bedside manner." 

"Oh, shut it." Jungwoo rolls his eyes, he does sound relieved though. Knowing Jungwoo, he was probably up half of the night worrying over his patient. "I'm just glad they didn't have to amputate." Donghyuck does not get the chance to agree when his patient stirs in his bed. 

"Hrrmph?" A confused grumble and then what Donghyuck was dreading the most. The soldier, Mark according to his papers, starts to panic, his chest rising and falling in quick succession.

"Hey! Where…?" His voice is hoarse, rough as sandpaper and he's shaking his head back and forth.  Donghyuck rushes to his side resting one hand on each of his shoulders as he tries to hold the man in place.

"Sir, Sir please calm down." Donghyuck tries to keep his voice steady and reassuring but at the same time, he shoots Jungwoo a desperate look. Jungwoo abandons his clipboard in favor of assisting Donghyuck.

"No! Let me go!" Mark cries, his arms weakly trying to push Donghyuck's hands off him.

"Sir, please. You are safe, you are in the hospital." Jungwoo tries his luck but his words also get lost under the soldier's cries.

"Lucas!" He screams and Donghyuck looks up at Jungwoo in surprise. "Lucas, where are you?" 

Mark's panicked cries have alerted most of the medical staff in the tent to the sudden commotion but have also woken Jungwoo's patient from where he was asleep in the bed next to him.

"What's going on?" The man mumbles, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he tries to sit upright.

"I'm sorry Sir," Jungwoo begins to explain but at the same time, Lucas recognizes where the commotion is coming from and a look of horror crosses his face.

"Oh crap, Mark!" Lucas calls out. "Hey man, chill you're alright."

"Lucas?" Mark turns his head in the direction of Lucas's voice but his panic only increases when he can't find the source. "Lucas, where are you? Why can't I see anything?"

"You're alright, I'm right here," Lucas calls out again, trying to reassure his friend. "We're in the hospital, okay. These lovely nurses are taking care of us." Lucas shoots Jungwoo a wink to which he blushes a terrible shade of crimson. Donghyuck cannot help but roll his eyes, now is not the time for flirting.  He turns his attention back to his patient, Lucas's reassurances have certainly helped but Mark still looks very wound up, his breaths still too erratic for Donghyuck's liking.

"Sir?" He starts, attempting to get Mark's attention. "I'm Nurse Lee, I'm here to look after you okay."

"Why can't I see anything?" Mark's voice is still slurred, his words tumbling out over each other. "What happened to me?"

"Sir, there is a bandage around your head and it is over your eyes," Donghyuck explains calmly. He waits a moment for his explanation to settle over Mark and for him to turn his face in Donghyuck's direction, making sure he has his attention.

"I need you to try and calm down, Sir. Try and slow your breathing." Donghyuck can see this is going to be easier said than done. In a snap decision, he takes hold of Mark's wrist and places the palm of his left hand against his chest, letting Mark feel it rise and fall in a steady motion. "Can you try and match that?"

It is hit and miss at first, however slowly but surely Mark's breathing begins to even out. Jungwoo and Lucas watch closely as Mark sinks back into his pillow, obviously exhausted from his outburst. 

"Okay, I'm okay." Mark finally says, though his fingers are now gripping into the front of Donghyuck's apron.  Donghyuck moves his hand from Mark's wrist to rest over the other man's knuckles. Slowly he unwinds his fingers from the material before lowering the man's arm to rest at his side on the bed. He does not, however, let go of Mark's hand, as the solider is now clutching at Donghyuck's fingers in the much the same fashion as he had his apron. Donghyuck can understand that it is probably grounding for him to hold onto someone else. Considering he cannot see anything currently, it is most likely reassuring to know someone else is nearby, and so Donghyuck indulges him.

"I'm in the hospital?" Mark questions softly.

"Yes, Sir," Donghyuck assures him. "You were brought in yesterday evening, along with three others."

"And Lucas is here too?"

"Right beside you," Lucas calls over to him. "It seems Lay's recon maneuver didn't quite go as planned." 

"Lay?" Jungwoo queried before Lucas corrected himself.

"Ah yeah sorry, Corporal Zhang, Yixing," Lucas explained. "He was the one leading the mission, Captain Taeyong approved it about three weeks ago." 

"Is he here too?" Mark asked suddenly. 

"He was," Donghyuck swallows, this was one of the parts of this job he hated the most. "He didn't make it through the night. I'm sorry."

Mark deflates and squeezes Donghyuck's fingers tighter, though now Donghyuck is not sure if he is aware that he is still holding his nurse's hand. Lucas, who had already been informed earlier that morning, sits quietly in his bed, wringing his fingers in his lap.

Suddenly Mark is trying to struggle upright, his grip on Donghyuck's fingers almost painful.

"Hendery!" Mark calls out, turning back and forth between where Donghyuck stands next to him and where he believes Lucas to be. "Where is Hendery? Is he..?"

"Over here, Hyung." Yuta's patient calls out softly. He had missed Mark waking while Jaemin had been taking him to the bathroom. He was now standing at the foot of Mark's bed, his nose scrunched in pain as he leans heavily on Jaemin's shoulder.

"Oh, thank God." Mark lets out a heavy sigh. Donghyuck finally gets some blood flow back into his fingers as Mark lets go. 

Now, with two hands mobile again, Donghyuck helps Jaemin get Hendery back to his bed. Yuta returns and begins cleaning and redressing the wounds on Hendery's back. As he works, Jaemin begins clearing up used bandages and instruments, putting them all on a tray to be taken to the cleaning station in the other tent.

"What was the mission?" Yuta asks, always the nosy one. 

"Information reconnaissance mostly, hopefully leading to a search and rescue." Hendery begins to explain but winces as Yuta begins applying an antiseptic solution to his wounds.

"We've had a lot of men go missing in the last month or so," Lucas admits as he continues. "Lay thought he had a lead someone willing to make a trade for information on the location of one of our missing guys."

"Yeah, it took a lot of convincing but eventually Taeyong gave Lay the all-clear for a small team to follow up on the lead." Mark chimed in. 

Donghyuck was busying himself with checking Mark's vitals as they talked, listening carefully. It was not often that the soldiers in their ward wanted to talk about anything that was happening on the front. Besides, news of missing men was enough to perk anyone's attention. They all had friends and loved ones out there somewhere. Many of which they barely ever heard word from.

"That was that plan anyway. I assume we got ambushed or something." Lucas continued. "I don't remember much, it all happened very quickly. I assume they know we're here?"

"Captain Kun was notified as soon as we had your papers." Dongyoung chimes in. He had joined them in the main bay earlier, on hand to assist with Mark's panic if Jungwoo and Donghyuck had not been able to do so themselves. "I'm sure he will have sent Yangyang with a message to the frontline as soon as possible." 

"That's good, hopefully, they'll be able to send someone else to get that information on the boy," Lucas says, almost to himself. Donghyuck can hear the regret in his voice. Frustrated that they were not able to see the mission through themselves and that whoever they were looking for was still out there somewhere. "What was his name?"

"The boy?" Mark asked. Lucas hummed a yes and Mark was silent for a moment, obviously thinking carefully before he continued. "Lee something I think. Lee Jeno?"

An abrupt clattering fills the tent as the tray Jaemin was carrying clatters to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Jungwoo rushes forward to help him collect the items as they scatter across the floor and under the beds.

Jaemin, however, stands stock still in the middle of the walkway, his hands are shaking and there is a look of absolute terror on his face. Donghyuck barely gets a word out before his friend is rushing from the room and everyone is left in sullen and ominous silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, to all of you, I'm sorry this took so long. Apparently even in isolation, I have a lot of other things to keep me occupied. However, I am glad to finally continue this fic.
> 
> Thoughts, feelings, and opinions on this new chapter? Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. 
> 
> I hope you are all well and staying safe.  
> Love, Megs xx
> 
> PS. I am sorry Charlie <3


	3. Chapter 3

As Donghyuck watches Jaemin's retreating back, everything in him is urging him to follow his friend, yet his feet stay stuck firmly to the floorboards beneath them. The air around the medical staff and their patients is frighteningly quiet, thick with tension so heavy that it is as if none of them are breathing. 

Donghyuck wonders if he should have seen something like this coming. Jaemin had been complaining for weeks that neither he nor Renjun had heard from Jeno. Donghyuck had joked that maybe Jeno had found himself a new lover on the front lines and that he must have grown bored of his current ones. He had then spent the rest of the afternoon talking Jaemin out of a spiral as the boy had almost driven himself sick with questions as to what he could have failed to do to make Jeno lose interest. 

Now Donghyuck almost wished there was some truth behind his teasing, it sure seemed better than the alternative. He could not imagine how Jaemin was feeling right now, or how Renjun may react once he was informed.

_ Renjun. _

That thought was enough to snap Donghyuck back into action as he barely passes Dongyoung an apologetic glance before he too is sprinting out of the medical tent and hoping desperately that he can catch up to Jaemin before he causes Renjun to have a breakdown in the middle of the kitchen.

When he reaches the dining hall he is more than a little relieved to find the building empty, save for the horrendous screaming match that seemed to be taking place in the kitchen. 

Rounding the corner of the fridge he comes face to face with a seething Jaemin and a very stoic looking Renjun. This was not the way he thought this conversation would go and judging by Jaemin's next choice of words, this is not the conversation he thought he would be having either.

"Three weeks! You have known for three weeks and yet said nothing!" Jaemin's cheeks are wet from crying but as of right now there are no tears being spilled. 

Renjun has the decency to look at least slightly regretful yet he still takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders before responding.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you would freak out. He's not dead, Jaemin! Just missing," Renjun's fists are clenched so tightly and from the way his voice shakes, Donghyuck wonders if it is Jaemin or himself that he is trying to convince. "He's not dead."

"It's been three weeks, Renjun, who knows what's happened since then." Jaemin's eyes are starting to water again now but he retains a semblance of composure. "The rescue mission failed, Renjun. Jeno's last hope is currently laying in our med bay and you knew about this for three weeks!"

Jeno has no other living relatives at home and so when he had enrolled for active duty, Renjun had been listed as his next of kin. This explained why Renjun had received the letter detailing Jeno's M.I.A status, yet it did not explain why he had kept Jaemin in the dark about it.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay?" Renjun is shaking from head to toe but Jaemin makes no move to comfort him and Donghyuck has ducked back behind the refrigerator before either of the other men get the chance to notice him. "I just didn't want you to worry, I knew you would worry."

"Of course I would worry! I love him," Jaemin sighs deeply, and again Donghyuck is grateful that the dining hall is empty at present. 

The precarious arrangement between Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno was kept mostly private and only those who needed to be in the know were aware of it. Donghyuck was one of the few privies that knowledge. For the most part, same-sex relationships were generally accepted even within the army, yet non-monogamous relationships such as the one formed between Donghyuck's three friends were generally frowned upon. Donghyuck could not imagine how it would feel to have to pretend not to care intimately about your chosen partner but for his friends, this was the sad reality.

On all legal documents, Renjun is listed as Jeno's romantic partner and visa versa. Everyone on the base knew that the head chef's boyfriend was off fighting on the front lines and yet Jaemin had to pretend that his relationship with both was strictly platonic when not behind closed doors. Donghyuck had seen first hand how this affected Jaemin's sense of belonging within the relationship and he only hoped that Renjun keeping the announcement of Jeno's disappearance from him did not cause the gap to widen.

"But I also love you," Jaemin continues after taking a deep breath to steady his previously rising panic. "And I hate that you thought you had to carry this on your own. Is this why you haven't been sleeping? Is this why you have been avoiding me."

Renjun looks as though he might be the one about to cry now as he releases the tight fists he had been making only to curl his fingers into the material of his apron.

"I couldn't face you. I knew I wouldn't be able to continue hiding it if you so much as looked at me the wrong way." Renjun admits. "You've been so busy with you're new job as medic's assistant and I didn't want you to freak out. I could deal with this myself, I thought it would all be alright somehow."

"Renjun." His lover's name is a sad sigh across Jaemin's lips as he finally steps forward to wrap his arms around Renjun's shoulders, pulling the smaller man to his chest.

Donghyuck watches as Jaemin presses a delicate kiss to the skin of Renjun's forehead before burying his face in his shoulder. The two men cling to each other as Donghyuck slowly backs out of the kitchen, leaving them to their privacy. As he walks back between the buildings he prays to whatever God is listening to that by some miracle Jeno will be returned to his friends safely. 

* * *

The medical tent is back to its usual busy bustling when Donghyuck returns. Taeil gives him a concerned look as he passes the office but Donghyuck only shakes his head, tying his apron tighter around his waist as he makes his way into the main bay.

He collects Mark’s clipboard from the end of his bed and quickly gets back to work checking the man’s vitals. His patient had finally woken up and the first thing Donghyuck had done was run off after Jaemin without doing even a basic check-up. He knows that if the situation were different he would have received a very stern reprimanding from both Taeil and Dongyoung, yet thankfully both of the head medical staff seemed to have some understanding of Jaemin’s situation. 

Upon closer inspection, Donghyuck recognizes Yuta’s handwriting on Mark’s chart, leading him to believe that he must have performed the vitals-check in Donghyuck’s absence. He makes a mental note to thank him later. 

“Sorry about disappearing. I hope Yuta was gentle with you.” Donhyuck tries to tease, greeting Mark with a tap on his shin, letting the solider in the bed know that he is there without frightening him.

“Is your friend alright?’ Mark asks, grabbing hold of Donghyuck’s forearm to make sure he has his attention. “I didn’t mean to say anything to upset him.”

“He’ll be alright, once the shock wears off.” Donghyuck swallows before replying.

“He knows Lee Jeno?” Mark asks carefully. Donghyuck can tell that Mark is being courteous, or cautious, but he really does not want to try to explain the situation to him now. He only gives a soft nod in reply before realizing that the bandage around Mark’s head stops him from being able to see this.

“Yes,” Donghyuck says softly instead. In all honesty, he does not know if Jaemin will be okay, or Renjun for that matter. At least not until they know that Jeno is safe, not until they have him back in their sight. Even then Donghyuck worries for the poor man, Jeno will have zero freedom. He is not sure if Jaemin and Renjun will even let the man leave the house after all this is over. If it will ever be over. 

Donhyuck wonders sometimes, this war, what sort of life will be left for any of them after it ends. If it ends.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts, they will do him no good, and pats Mark’s hand. The other man releases his grip allowing Donghyuck to return to his charts. As he busies himself he catches Jungwoo’s eye at the bed next to him. Lucas seems to be asleep yet Jungwoo is sat in a folding chair next to him, holding his hand. 

Tucking Mark’s clipboard back into its pouch at the end of the bed, Donghyuck rounds the end of the trundler beds to crouch down in front of Jungwoo. He smiles up at the older nurse, trying to plaster a cheeky grin onto his face, but after the events of the day, it barely reaches his eyes.

“You found yourself a new lover, Woo?” He chuckles, speaking softly. Jungwoo glances down at him as if he did not even realize that Donghyuck had returned. It seems that Jungwoo cannot even bring himself to fake a laugh at Donghyuck's pathetic attempt at humor. He shakes his head sadly, glancing over at Lucas's peaceful face.

“Nightmares,” Jungwoo replies lightly. “He is exhausted, Donghyuck, yet he wakes every hour screaming like a banshee.”

“And you are holding his hand because?”

“He won’t let go,” Jungwoo admits with a chuckle. As if to prove his point he demonstrates trying to remove his hand from Lucas’s grip. The soldier groans in his sleep, shuffling restlessly under the sheets as his grip on Jungwoo’s hand clenches tighter. He only settles again once Jungwoo rests their hands against the mattress.

“You need anything?” Donghyuck asks but Jungwoo only shakes his head and reaches over to pull the sheets higher up around Lucas’s chin.

“He should wake up soon, I’ll check his leg then and my shift ends at five o’clock.” 

“And will you return to your quarters when it does?” Donghyuck watches closely sees the way that Jungwoo looks at Lucas. The concern behind his eyes, the way he grips his hand just as tightly in return. He knows the answer and does not expect his friend to lie. Donghyuck squeezes Jungwoo’s knee and then as Yuta returns, stands up to help him clean the wounds on Hendery’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that it has been many weeks since I last updated this story. Life gets busy when you least expect it, except that I am enrolled in university so I actually should have expected it. 
> 
> Regardless, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I honestly really like the concept of the AU so I want to write it well.  
> Let me know what you thought! Head cannons? Theories?
> 
> Kudo? Comment?
> 
> Much love,  
> Meegs xx


	4. Chapter 4

One day of the mundane, that is all that Donghyuck asks for. Just one day where he can go through the motions without being bombarded with unforeseen circumstances. First this week it was the arrival of Mark and his war-torn comrades and then just yesterday it was the heart-wrenching news that Jeno was currently considered Missing In Action with very little hope of rescue.

As this morning had begun with Donghyuck being woken by the sound of rain on the canvas roof of his tent and wet socks from his desperate sprint across the army base to the medical tent. The frustrated thoughts of having to wear damp socks until lunchtime, and the sound of the unrelenting downpour are drowned out as soon as he enters the tent and comes face to face with what he assumes is today’s ruination.

Standing in the middle of the main bay is a very distressed Jungwoo. His face is streaked with tears and he is yelling hysterically at Taeil as the older man tries hopelessly to calm Jungwoo down. From the corner of his eyes, Donghyuck catches sight of Yuta and Jaemin wheeling Lucas into another room, as the boy groans absently. 

“You promised!” Donghyuck’s attention is drawn back to Jungwoo as he spits venomously at Taeil. “You can’t, you said you would...you promised!”

“I said I would do whatever I could,” Taeil places a hand carefully on Jungwoo’s shoulder. The touch is light but his grip is firm. He is trying to ground him, desperately trying to bring Jungwoo back to reality before he gets himself so wound up that he makes himself sick. “There is not anything else we can do here Jungwoo, we can’t save it, we tried. I promise you we tried.”

“Well, you should have tried harder!” Jungwoo does not try to mask the bitterness in his tone.

“That is enough!’ Dongyoung emerges from his office, and if looks could kill then Jungwoo would probably be in one of their trundler beds right between Hendery and Sungchan.

Xiaojun and Ten had brought Sungchan in from the field station late last night. The poor boy had gotten hungry enough to eat something he definitely should not have had ended up with an acute case of food poisoning. Thankfully he should be recovered enough to return to the front by the end of the week, and until then he seems content to have an excuse to sleep all day. 

Everyone in the room snaps their attention to Dongyoung’s lithe form as he crosses the room to stand directly in front of Jungwoo, pushing Taeil to the side as he takes his place. 

“You are smart enough to understand the severity of this situation Nurse Kim.” He states flatly. Jungwoo tries to look away from Dongyoung’s stern face but the head nurse follows his gaze until he is in his line of sight again. 

“I understand that it is an unfortunate outcome but that is  _ your _ patient through there and you need to start acting like it.” Dongyoung continues and then softens his tone when Jungwoo nods in understanding. “Now, clean yourself up. Go help Yuta prepare Lucas for surgery and when you are finished you can come and find me in my office.” 

Jungwoo nods resolutely and Dongyoung pats him firmly on his back as he turns to rush towards the sink and cleans up before dashing out of the room in the direction that Yuta and Jaemin had wheeled his patient. 

Donghyuck makes his way to the sink after Jungwoo has left the room and washes up to his elbows vicariously in preparation for the day ahead. Before he can collect his clipboard Taeil ushers him into his office to debrief him of the details from the early morning shift.

“As I am sure you gathered from that incident, but Lucas’s circumstances have deteriorated considerably.” Taeil hesitates while looking for the right word to describe Jungwoo’s distressed outburst. It had shocked all of them he thought and although causing such a scene in front of the other patients was decidedly unprofessional, anyone could see how attached Jungwoo had become to Lucas and so no one was all that surprised. 

He goes on to explain to Donghyuck how Lucas had woken at four o’clock that morning, delirious and drenched in a cold sweat. Dongyoung had suspected infection but they would not know for sure until that got a closer look. 

“The chances of him coming out of another surgery are not high,” Taeil explains regrettably. “Like I have said to Jungwoo before, I will do whatever I can to get the best possible outcome but I just want you to be ready to help Jungwoo if things go south.” The connotation of ‘again’ is left unspoken but hanging between them. They both know how badly Jungwoo took things last time something like this happened. 

Six months ago Yuta had a patient in with a head injury and although Jungwoo had not been the boy’s attending nurse, the two had grown to be quite close. Felix was a decidedly bubbly boy and his constant chatter had entertained everyone on the ward, but Felix was also constantly tired. The knock to Felix’s head had been caused by an explosive device detonating unexpectedly. Although the initial explosion did not hit Felix, the resulting shockwave had sent him flying almost thrifty feet backward where he collided with a stationary vehicle. 

Six weeks after Felix was admitted to their ward, he died of complications related to a seizure which he had in the early hours of the morning. Jungwoo had been right by the boy’s side throughout the whole ordeal and had stayed with him, holding his hand, until the end. There had been nothing Jugwoo could do to save him. Following Felix’s passing, Jungwoo had almost quit his job as a nurse but over the last few months slowly but surely he had come to terms with the loss. Donghyuck doubts that Jungwoo will be able to do so again if anything was to happen to Lucas. Donghyuck could already see that the attachment that Jungwoo has formed to Lucas is something much deeper. 

“Copy that, Sir.” Donghyuck does not know what else he can say. All they can really do is hope and pray that Lucas will come out on the other side of this. 

“Good.” Taeil nods firmly and moves to sit behind his desk while Donghyuck remains standing near the door. “Other than that, can you give Yuta a hand with Hendery today. His wounds seem to be healing well but he has been complaining about stiff limbs. Maybe try and find a way for him to lay more comfortably without putting too much pressure on his back.

Also, Shotaro should be back from leave tomorrow morning and will be taking over Hendery’s care, so I would like you to fill him in on what he needs to know.”

“Of course, but what about Yuta?” Donghyuck is confused, it is not commonplace to switch a patient’s attending nurse mid-treatment, especially seeing as Hendery had already been with them for over a week. 

“Dongyoung is needed on the front for a few days so Yuta will be replacing him as head nurse temporarily,” Taeil explains. “Any other questions?” 

At that Donghyuck shakes his head and Taeil then dismisses him to his duties, admitting that he needs to prepare himself for Lucas’s surgery. 

“How am I looking, Doc?” Mark queries as Donghyuck collects the clipboard from the end of his bed. He must have heard Donghyuck approaching, and the ward feels painfully quiet since Jungwoo stopped yelling. 

“Not too shabby, all things considered.” Donghyuck picks up Mark’s wrist and places his first two fingers against the inside of it to get a pulse. “A couple more weeks and we might be able to start leaving those bandages off for short periods during the day. That way we can slowly let your eyes used to being exposed to light again.”

“And then I’ll be able to see again, right Doc?” Mark asks cautiously as if he is waiting for Donghyuck to give him bad news.

“Well, we hope so,” Donghyuck says lightly, releasing Mark’s and reaching to start unwrapping the bandaging from around his thigh. The bullet hole has been healing cleanly which Donghyuck is grateful for. Grateful that at least something in this ward is going according to plan. “We won’t know for sure until you open them. For now, we need to give them as much time to heal as we can.”

“Hmm,” Mark hums softly in response. Donghyuck can see the purse of his lips as the boy thinks over what Donghyuck has said. He wishes he could give Mark a more definite answer but the body was a fickle thing and really there were only so many guarantees that he could make. 

“Can I ask you something, Doc?” 

“You can call me Donghyuck, Mark.” He laughs. “I’m not a real doctor and Jaemin only calls me Doc to annoy me.”

“Okay, Hyuck.” Mark corrects himself and Donghyuck is glad that he cannot seem the way his face blossoms red at the nickname. “Is Lucas gonna be okay?”

Donghyuck stills as he sucks in a sharp breath. He hates this part of the job, lying to patients, having to give them false reassurances when none of them really know what is going to happen.

“And don’t sugar coat it,” Mark continues, so he knows how this goes. “He’s my best friend Hyuck. We’ve known each other since middle school and-”

Mark's voice seems to catch in his throat and he has to take a deep breath before he continues. Mark’s hand comes up to rub the back of his neck, a nervous tick that Donghyuck is unsure if the soldier is aware that he has. 

“I was the one who convinced him to enroll in the military in the first place. I- I don’t know how I would have survived this long without him but if something happens to him then-.”

Donghyuck stops him with a hand on his forearm and another resting on top of Mark’s dark mop of hair. It had long since grown out from the traditional military cut he would have started with, now curling around his ears and over his forehead, hiding the top of the bandage around his eyes.

“We will do everything that we can,” Donghyuck says sternly. “You know that I cannot make any promises to you but I can assure you that Taeil is the best surgeon we have and he will do anything to make sure that Lucas pulls through.”

Mark is definitely not content with that answer but there is very little else that Donghyuck can give him. Thankfully he at least looks slightly more relaxed now as Donghyuck cards his fingers through Mark’s fringe and Mark takes a deep shuttering breath.

Mark reaches over to rest his opposite hand on top of the one which donghyuck currently has on his forearm. Mark squeezes it tightly before extracting himself from Donghyuck's touch and rolling onto his side facing away from the nurse.

Donghyuck takes that as his cue to leave quickly finishes wrapping a fresh bandage around mark’s thigh before collecting the soiled material and heading towards the supply room. From over his shoulder, he hears Mark calling out to him softly.

“Thanks, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck smiles to himself and then returns to the job at hand. Yuta will be out any minute to start cleaning Hendery’s shrapnel wounds and Donghyuck still needs to find the supplies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been forever since I updated this fic but I finally had a bout of inspiration and the time to write it!   
> I hope you are all still excited to see what happens here, I know I am excited for you to read it.
> 
> Feedback and Kudos always appreciated! <3
> 
> Stay safe everyone.  
> Love,  
> Meegs x


	5. Chapter 5

Donghyuck hates the night shift. It is long and grueling and sad, painfully sad. The airy quiet often only broken by the pained moans of the soldiers on the ward. 

The night shift mostly consisted of cleaning jobs, restocking supplies, and checking the patient's vitals at regular intervals. As Winwin was not due to arrive with the next supply order until the morning, there was very little to occupy Donghyuck and Shotaro between rounds. 

So far they had filled the last two hours with many hands of  _ Go Fish _ while Shotaro filled Donghyuck in on how his visit home went. 

"Have you got an Ace?" Donghyuck queries.

"Go fish." Shotaro replies and his opponent reaches for the draw pile between them with a disappointed sigh. 

Jungwoo had returned to the ward just after midnight but had spent the last hour sitting sullenly in the far corner staring at his shoes. Donghyuck and Shotaro had tried to convince him to join him for a round of cards but he had politely declined. 

Eventually, Minseok, the head night Nurse, had demanded that he do something useful if he was planning on staying all night and so had left Jungwoo with a pile of bandages to reroll. This was a job that Donghyuck and Shotaro should probably have been doing but Jungwoo looked like he needed the distraction. 

"Can we play  _ Snap _ next, I'm not good at this game," Donghyuck complains as Shotaro manages to steal three cards in a row from him on his next turn. 

"Last time we played  _ Snap _ , Dongyoung put you on back to back shifts for being too loud and disturbing the patients." Shotaro reminds him. 

"Dongyoung isn't here at the moment." Donghyuck counters but Shotaro only rolls his eyes and instead and redeals the cards for another round of  _ Go Fish _ . Dongyoung may not be on the ward at present but Yuta was right next door, and Donghyuck had to admit that sometimes Yuta could be much more terrifying when angry than even Dongyoung. 

An hour later, as it neared 3 am, and after Donghyuck has finally convinced Shotaro to switch to  _ Kings and Assholes  _ instead, there is a quiet commotion at the other end of the tent as Lucas was wheeled out of surgery. He is not, however, returned to his original bed next to Mark's. Instead, Yuta leaves his trundler at the far end of the tent and pulls the dividing curtain around it. Jungwoo instantly disappears behind the curtain, leaving the remaining bandages abandoned on the trolley. Shotaro gives Donghyuck a solemn look before packing away their game and shoving the pack of cards into his pocket. Shotaro then took over Jungwoo’s half-finished job. Donghyuck rose to join him but at that moment Donghyuck's ears are met with a gut-wrenching sob as Jungwoo inevitably takes in the results of the operation. The grave look on Taeil's face when he also returns to the main tent does not raise Donghyuck hopes at the outcome either. 

Before Donghyuck has a chance to ask Taeil for more information regarding Lucas's condition he is already giving instructions.

“Leave the bandages to Shotaro,” Taeil begins. “I need to go speak to Captian Kun. I would like you to help Yuta get Lucas settled, Yuta’s shift ended a couple of hours ago. I doubt that Jungwoo is going to be of much help and he is not technically on duty. If you can, try and send him back to his tent.”

Taeil shakes his head with a resigned sigh. His shoulders are heavy and Donghyuck has to admit that he looks more tired than Donghyuck has ever seen him.

“If he won’t go back to his tent at least get him a blanket and try to get him to sleep on one of the empty stretchers.” Taeil pauses to yawn before rubbing his fingers up the bridge of his nose to his forehead. “Jungwoo’s shift starts at 6 am so wake him before you clock out but otherwise, I just need you to keep an on Lucas. Check his vitals and get his IV set up and then just monitor him regularly over the next few hours. 

“The anesthetic should keep him under for at least the next 12 hours but I don’t want to be counting any chickens before they hatch. It’s going to be a bit of a shock for him when he does come to so just be prepared for that.”

Donghyuck nods in understanding, listening carefully as Taeil fills him in on the last of the particulars and then bids him goodnight. 

“You look like you should try to get some sleep too!” Donghyuck calls after him and Taeil chuckles hollowly in response.

“I’ll do my best, Hyuck.” Taeil smiles at him softly and squeezes his shoulder lightly before nodding and turning away.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, preparing himself for the inevitable before heading towards the curtains surrounding Lucas’s bed. As he passes Shotaro the other boy raises an eyebrow at him but Donghyuck just waves him off. 

Pulling back the curtain he finds Jungwoo on his knees beside Lucas’s bed, his face pressed into the mattress beside the soldier’s shoulder, as he sniffles quietly. Lucas is pale, his face lax with sleep and breathing shallowly. The sheets are pulled tightly around his chest but there is a noticeable inconsistency in the outline of his body beneath the blankets. 

As Donghyuck’s eyes travel down the length of Lucas’s body, he takes in the shape of his hips, the swell of his thighs, and the way the shape of one leg stops just under the knee while the other continued down to his foot. 

_ So, they did have to amputate in the end. _ Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh. It was never a pleasant sight to see any of these soldiers left with lifelong ailments. The mental trauma of being on the front line was horrid enough but to be left without a limb. Donghyuck could not even imagine it. 

Jungwoo finally notices Donghuck’s presence at the end of the bed and looks up at him with red-ringed eyes. He opens his mouth as if to say something but his eyes fill with tears again. 

Donghyuck sinks to the floor in front of Jungwoo and opens his arms to him. Jungwoo collapses against Donghyuck’s chest with no reservations. Donghyuck brings his hands to Jungwoo’s back and rubs comforting circles along his spine as the sullen man takes deep, shaky breaths.

“What did I do wrong?” Jungwoo’s voice cracks at the end of his question and Donghyuck’s heart squeezes in his chest. Jungwoo thought this was his fault. Jungwoo thought that it was something he had done or failed to do, which resulted in Lucas losing half of his leg. 

“Nothing, there is nothing you did wrong,” Donghyuck assures him, keeping his voice firm and leaving no room for Jungwoo to argue with him. “You did everything you were supposed to do and have gone above and beyond to make sure that Lucas has been comfortable and receiving exactly the right care. Sometimes these things are out of our control.”

“But,” Jungwoo has to take a deep breath before pulling away from Donghyuck’s embrace to look him in the eyes. “But, what happens now? He lost his leg! Oh god, they cut off his leg!”

Donghyuck can see Jungwoo’s mind beginning to spiral again and he quickly reaches out to grab the sides of his face between his hands. 

“Now you figure it out from here. You find ways around it. Help him adapt to a new way of doing things.” Donghyuck makes sure that Jungwoo is listening closely to everything he is saying, watching the way Jungwoo follows the movement of Donghyuck’s lips, taking in every word he says. “I am sure that Taeil will look at alternatives. They will most likely try to get him a prosthetic and then you will have to help him learn to walk again.”

Jungwoo nods in understanding, slowly processing Donghyuck’s words. Donghyuck can see the wheels turning in his mind, probably already planning what strategies he will have to put in place to begin Lucas’s rehabilitation. This is why Jungwoo is so good at his job. Though some people may think that he gets too close to his patients or that he takes failures too close to heart, these qualities also work as his strengths. Being close to his patients means that he is able to help them on other levels besides that of the superficial pretense of a medical caregiver.

“One step at a time, okay?” Donghyuck assures him.

The corner of Jungwoo’s lip quirks up and he rolls his eyes.

“Was that meant to be a pun?” He raises his eyebrows.

“I don’t know, did you think it was funny?” Donghyuck smiles at him softly and Jungwoo turns his face away, glancing up at Lucas still resting peacefully on the bed above them. 

“One step at a time then,” Jungwoo repeats thoughtfully and nods to himself. “Okay then.”

“Great,” Donghyuck smiles, “And the first step is you going to bed.”

Jungwoo turns to him with a horrified and panicked look on his face.

“Okay, fine.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes this time. “Taeil didn’t think you’d agree that easily either. At least take a bed here then, you need to sleep. You will be of no help to him like this.”

“Fine” Jungwoo relents before giving Lucas one last thoughtful look, readjusting the blankets and then perching himself on the bed on the other side of him.

“Lay down, for goodness sake,” Donghyuck complains. “You can’t sleep sitting up.”

Jungwoo pouts like a petulant child but does follow Donghyuck’s instruction and pulls the blanket from the end of the bed over himself, laying back against the pillows.

* * *

As Donghyuck returns to his tent, the sun is just beginning to peek above the horizon and Renjun had just woken up to begin his day. As much as Donghyuck wishes to faceplant on his stretcher and never wake up again, he knows that there were some things that needed to be addressed first.

"So," Donghyuck mumbles as he perches himself on the edge of his bed. "How are you doing?"

Renjun glances up at him from where he is sat on the opposite stretcher, lacing his boots. 

"I'm fine." He responds flatly and Donghyuck lets out a frustrated sigh. 

"Look Junnie, I'm too tired to pull teeth with you so cut the crap." Donghyuck reaches down to start unlacing his own boots, finally freeing them from their tight confines. 

"I'm tired too, okay," Renjun admits, pausing before grabbing the tongue on his second boot and shoving his foot in, toes first. "I'm tired of Jaemin pretending that he isn't avoiding me. I'm tired of waiting even though I don't know what I'm waiting for. For Jeno to come back or for a letter to tell me he's dead?"

Renjun's voice grows more desperate and frantic as his emotions spiral out of his control. He has abandoned the task of lacing up his second boot in favor of harshly pushing his fingers through his hair and tugging at the roots.

"I am tired of pretending that I'm not tired, of pretending that everything is going to be okay if I'm just patient. I am not a patient person!"

With every muscle in his body screaming at him to lay down, Donghyuck instead pulls himself to his feet and crosses the distance from his bed to Renjun's, and takes a seat beside his friend. 

As soon a Donghyuck was seated beside him Renjun collapses into his friend's side and let Donghyuck wrap an arm around his shoulders, tucking him under his arm.

He waits quietly as Renjun takes a few deep, calculated breaths before he pulls himself out of Donghyuck's grasp and turns to face him. 

"How is he? Jaemin, I mean." He sounds crestfallen, defeated. "I've barely seen him since he found out about the letter. We talked it out, kind of. More like he yelled and then I yelled and then we were both crying and I don't know why I'm telling you this, I know you were there, you weren't very good at hiding."

"To be honest I haven't seen much of him either," Donghyuck admits, choosing to ignore Renjun's dig at his lack of hiding skills when he had found the two of them screaming bloody murder in the kitchen. "I got off shift about 11 am and then didn't start night shift till midnight. I think he was on the afternoon shift with Baekhyun, but Baekhyun said that Taeil told him to clock out early because he kept zoning out."

Renjun let out another tired sigh from beside him and dragged the palms of his hands up his face, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. 

"I'll try and find his after the breakfast rush clears." He takes a deep breath and sits up straight, setting his shoulders in determination. "When does your next shift start?"

"Ah, midday. But I'm going to go in a little early and give Yuta a hand with Hendery's dressings again. All going well, he should be discharged by the end of next week but at the moment Yuta and Jungwoo have their hands pretty full with Lucas's recovery."

"He went into surgery yesterday, didn't he? I remember Chenle mentioning that he overheard some of the other nurses talking at dinner last night." Renjun dropped his chin to rest in the palm of his hand, his elbow propped upon his knee. "How's he getting on?"

"It's early days yet," Donghyuck admitted. "He's got a long road ahead of him but as long as there are no more complications then hopefully he has the worst behind him now."

Renjun nods but does not say anything more on the topic. He is quiet for a moment, his mind elsewhere and an absent look on his face, before he looks up at Donghyuck, his eyes painfully hopeful.

"You'd tell me, right? If you heard anything, about Jeno?" 

"Renjunnie, of course, I would!" Donghyuck assures him, astounded that he thought he even had to ask. 

"Okay," Renjun says quietly, nodding to himself. "Okay. Well, I should get going, Chenle may burn down the mess hall if he's left unattended for too long and I'm not certain that Jisung knows how to use a fire extinguisher."

Donghyuck cannot help but chuckle at the prospect until he reminds himself that that means no food. 

With sluggish movements he rises from Renjun’s bed and finally collapses onto his sleeping bag, barely finding the energy to pull himself inside it before his bones turn to mush and his eyelids begin to drop. 

"I'll see you later Hyuck." He hears Renjun say, followed by the sound of their tent flap unzipping. Donghyuck barely exudes a hum in response before he's out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....it's been almost three months since I gave you guys an update. First I just wanna say in so grateful for everyone who has been reading and leaving comments and kudos. You all honestly make my day. I get so excited every time I get a notification and I love reading through all your comments, even if they're just keyboard smashes! 
> 
> Second of all I know, it has been ages but I hope this long-ish chapter makes up for the slow updates. My old laptop finally breathed its dying breath and it's really tedious editing on my phone. But I finally got a new laptop so hopefully (fingers crossed) the next chapter won't take as long. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, have you got any theories? KUDOS AND COMMENTS GIVE ME LIFE!!
> 
> Love y'all,  
> Meegs xx


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